I seem to have left my pride at pride
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
