Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
