Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
