I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
