her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
