sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
