i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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