I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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