i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
