even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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