she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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