I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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