No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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