Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
