My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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