Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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