writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
