Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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