btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
