Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i think my cat just said my name.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
