if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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