you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
