I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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