Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
