Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I need a beard to bite.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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