I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
