you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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