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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
