My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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