saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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