Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
