STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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