Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
