I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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