Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
