My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
