stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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