dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
