I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
