I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
