Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Someone signed my nipple.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
