Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
