Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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