i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Damn victory sex feels great
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