before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
