hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
