lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i now understand why vodka
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
