i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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