I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
