Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
