you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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