i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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