I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
