i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
