I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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