Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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