Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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