Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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