I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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