Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
