I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
